Eighteenth Flame-[Voice/Written/Action]

[gogglesyndrome]

[currently Taichi's up in his tree house again and doodling in the margins of his flowchart in the journal. When he speaks, he still sounds a little sniffly from his headcold but for the most part he's better]

I'm glad it's not raining anymore, it was starting to get really boring just sleeping all day. And Hikari's doing better too which is really good.

But now what? If it were summer vacation at home, I'd probably be at my apartment playing video games and watching TV with my friends, but those don't exist here or something. If we weren't doing that, Mom and Dad would probably take us to go visit my grandma and if we weren't doing that, I'd probably be playing outside. Soccer went over really good here but it's not the same, exactly. Last summer I went to camp...sorta. That didn't last too long before we ended up in the Digital World.

...wonder how they're doing anyway. I miss Agumon...well, all of them, but you know. It's really weird being without him after so long. It's also really weird just trying to be a kid again. Not impossible, just...weird.

So hey, what's everybody's favorite thing to do in the summer? Maybe I can get some new ideas or something.

Comments

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

We're cool, right?

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

As long as you can stand me being the way I always am, sure.

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

I think that's more of a two-way street. I've been told I'm pretty annoying.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm the one that ends up a jerk in three years. [Obviously, we're not okay with this.]

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

[throws a pillow at him] Will you shut up?

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

[Smacked in the face with a pillow, rofl. Frowns and hugs it to his chest.] I'm trying to make light of this.

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

You're not making light of anything if you believe what you're saying.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

Well obviously you're okay with it and I'm not getting any better about it, so why the hell does it matter?

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

I didn't say I was okay with it. I said I was okay with ignoring it for now.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

Okay, then let's ignore it. [Seriously contemplating getting up and leaving to make the ignoring easier.]

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

That's not-...Matt.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

What? I'm hopeless, okay? I suck at talking and I suck at fixing things and I don't know what the hell you want me to say or do but I'm apparently unable to do it.

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

...I want you to say that you're okay.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

[Frowns, caught a little off-guard.] Wh-- who said I wasn't...?

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

Your face?

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

[Sort of flusters for a minute, puffing his cheeks up.] Yeah well I'm fine. [Read as; "I screwed up the last time I talked, so I'm not taking any chances in doing it again."]

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

Stop lying to me. I'm your best friend! [read as: I want you to trust me so I can fix this because I DO care]

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

[Winces.] ...It hurts, okay? I'm stupid and I'm weak and I envy my best friend for something nobody can change because I've always thought I had something to do with why my parents split up and all I've ever wanted was to be a good brother because T.K.'s all I have and I hate seeing how much better you are than I am!

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

...[sighs a bit. Aw man...] ...you had nothing to do with your parents splitting up and who said anything about me being a better brother to TK than you are? Man, we've been over this. I might be a fun older brother figure but you're the one he admires and loves by default, not me. I know it sucks but you didn't have anything to do with any of it.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

I know that... Dad's told me before. You've told me about the thing with TK. It just bothers me, and I don't know if it's ever gonna stop. You know how I can't handle being by myself, I'm afraid of what'll happen when he grows up. I need him more than he's ever needed me and it's really stupid. And I'm sorry I've been taking it out on you.

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel better, I'm afraid of what'll happen when 'Kari grows up too. When she was here before and she was my age, she didn't need me. She handled everything by herself and it was weird, it was like she was taking care of me. They're capable when they're older and it sucks. I'm afraid they're not going to need us anymore too, but Daisuke says that we help out the new team a lot of the time.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

[Screws up his hair a little.] I didn't really expect them to always need us. I mean, it's better that way. You and 'Kari... are a lot closer than TK and I. I mean, we're close 'cause we're brothers, but I feel like because he's always so far away and because he's growing up I hardly know him.

I just... I want to go back in time and fix what went wrong so we can all be a family again, and I can't ever say that to Takeru because I'm supposed to be the stronger of the two of us. He can't ever know. [He's kind of rambling, don't mind him.]

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

I know but 'Kari and I are way different. We see each other every day so we know what's going on in each other's lives all the time. You and TK have a different bond that you have so much more to talk to him about because you don't get to see him often.

I dunno if it's something that can be fixed though. I mean you and I can fight every single day and be friends; some people fight and that's just it. You're doing the best you can, you know? TK knows that, I know that, and you probably know that but you're still doing what you can to be the best brother for him to make up for the fact that your parents sort of messed up early on.

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[toomuchhairgel.livejournal.com]

[Scrunching his face up in an odd sort of expression, rubbing two fingers over his forehead as if he has a headache or something.] I still never have anything to talk to him about, though. It's always idle chatter, and if he starts in about mom...

[Starts chewing on his lip a little.] I know. That's why it's stupid that I get so worked up over it. I'm sorry.

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[goggle-syndrome.livejournal.com]

He's a kid, Yamato. Just...ask him about school, ask him about his friends, what hobbies does he have, what's his favorite cartoon. Stuff like that.

[drapes himself over Yamato's shoulders, resting his chin on one of them] And stop apologizing already. Sounds like you just needed to...vent or something.